eaglest

Never Question the Knowledge of a Super Fan

Sun, 04 Feb 2018 00:03:26 GMT

Even if it's a fandom I've been dormant in for years. I remember all the things.

You will get an info dump with either screenshots or links to proof.

~~Or I scour the Internet for a clip of the scene. And find it.~~

((this is all in good fun!))

Update! My fannish knowledge and ability to conjure up obscurities from the Internet void made someone's day. I'm so happy.

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[ Public ] A Pickup Truck of Rage

Thu, 11 Jan 2018 02:20:09 GMT

This guy wins the Bag of Dicks of the Week award; fuck, maybe he's earned it for the entire month.

Before I get into Mr. D, here's a little background info on where the scene took place:

I take the bus to work, and the park and ride is across the way from where all the school buses stop to pick up students (at that hour, it is a giant, empty parking lot). On a typical morning, you'll see parents dropping off their kids or sitting in their cars with their kids until the bus comes.

Enter the Bag of Dicks

I was waiting at the park and ride this morning, and all of a sudden, I see this light brown pick up truck come flying down the street between me and the school buses. It swerves next to a black SUV. At first, I think the drivers know each other, because, for a split second, the two vehicles were side by side...that is until Captain Douche floors it and cuts the SUV off, forcing it to stop because he slams his breaks without warning.

At this point, I'm wondering what in the hell is going on.

He gets out of his truck and storms towards the SUV. Everyone at the park and ride is watching. The man starts shouting at the top of his lungs. The driver of the SUV does not roll down his window or get out. There are children in the backseat. Bag of Dicks continues ranting and raving, thrusting his fists about. Finally, the driver of the SUV opens his door, and Bag of Dicks's rantings become clear.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE SPEED LIMIT IS?
35
35 FUCKING MILES PER HOUR!

The rest of his rage becomes unintelligible again. The driver of the SUV slams his door shut and does not budge. Bag of Dicks continues shouting for a few minutes and retreats to his truck, where he proceeds to peel away. The SUV backs up and sits at the children's parking lot, and I notice that no one leaves it, and I am certain that no one left it until the school bus came.

I find the fact that this Bag of Dicks floored the gas pedal, sped down a street of children and pedestrians, just to cut someone off to scream at them for speeding ironic. I guess calling the police and reporting someone for speeding is too much work these days. Gotta get that fresh morning road rage in. Gotta almost cause a wreck.

It reminds me of the time this old, fat bastard cut me and my coworker off back in '99 just to scream and yell at us for sprinting across the crosswalk instead of "walking." He swerved right at us with his giant car and nearly hit the grassy island just to earn his Bag of Dicks of the Week award. Oh, and he blocked traffic too. I remember cars swerving around him as his face became red with rage.

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Getting Older

Sat, 21 Oct 2017 14:47:35 GMT

It has finally struck me.

My work went out to lunch yesterday, and during that time a lot of them were talking about normal people adulting stuff that I sort of tune out, but politely nod to here and there (catch me in a conversation about Sci-Fi, Germany, art, trains, and I am totally into it). One of my coworkers said something along the lines of

"I'm 38....I don't know if I want to do that now."

I remember thinking to myself, gosh, when I turn that age, I hope I'm not a total adult! I'm not ready yet! Then I froze.

I am 37 years old.

Thirty-fucking-seven.

When she said 38, it felt like a decade from now.

Once I hit 30, I've never felt my actual age and have always had the pleasure of working with Millennials and Baby Boomers (working Baby Boomers are nice people, btw. They tend to relive their younger years). Why I never worked with vast sums of Generation X, aside from my military days when we were all in our early 20s, I don't know. It's like as soon as they hit 25, they all disappeared.

My current job is full of Generation X (they are wonderful people; they just love normal adulting stuff), so now my age and the fact that I'm getting older is in my face. I can't even relate to current fashion anymore. I'm sorry, but spandex and bland croptops are ugly.

I don't know the point of this post, to be honest. I guess it's finally hit me that I am 37, not 25.

Fellow Generation Xers, how do you feel?

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It's Been A Long Time!

Sat, 16 Sep 2017 14:57:43 GMT

Let me start this off by saying I quit Hell Inc and started an awesome job over a year ago. I am so happy now.

I love my current job, and it's time to dust this blog off and start posting again.

I had stopped posting in here because Hell Inc got worse (yes, WORSE). I could barely keep my sanity and hold it together. I'll just list a few bullet points as to how bad it got:

( Read more... )

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Wrecking Ball Through NoTPville

Mon, 25 Jan 2016 00:32:58 GMT

A rant that's not about work? I know. Shocking!

If you don't have a NoTP or understand why others have them, it just means you haven't discovered your NoTP yet. Trust me. When you discover it, you'll know; the screeching rage will be immediate. With that being said, this rant is for others, like me, who have a NoTP that needs to be thrown into a volcano.

( Read more... )

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'Tis Ferengi Breeding and Feeding Season

Sat, 19 Dec 2015 01:08:13 GMT

Today was one of those days where you can only sit back and wonder where the full moon was--if you believe in that sort of thing--because what even was today.
( Read more... )

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America Needs More Labor Laws

Mon, 07 Dec 2015 23:52:39 GMT

I'm just going to drop this gem of a conversation here:

( Read more... )

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Tales From The Service Desk: GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Fri, 27 Nov 2015 15:38:33 GMT

Here we go for another round of Tales from the Service Desk!

( Read more... )

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Tales From The Service Desk: Vol 1

Tue, 10 Nov 2015 22:49:47 GMT

Yes, people actually do these things. And yes, I'm a fucking appointment host now in addition to everything else I used to be responsible for.

( Read more... )

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Pew, Pew! A New Star Trek?

Tue, 10 Nov 2015 00:36:48 GMT

CBS is planning to create a new Star Trek series.

Fans of Star Trek circa 2009, best steer clear of this post. I am not a fan of that movie.

( Read more... )

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FYeah! Work: Pre Game Show

Sun, 08 Nov 2015 13:51:37 GMT

I don't want to go to work today.
Let me count the ways.
Every last one of them.

As far as my work is concerned, I had a bad case of diarrhea yesterday. I'm sorry, but I had to take a fucking sanity day and call out. This shit fucking sucks.

I have 8 hours of utter hell today.

Eight full hours of angry people coming up to the service desk without appointments and bitching at me about the appointment system because it's all my fucking fault, and I'm a dumb ass.

Eight full hours of hoping the guys don't go over on their appointments because guess who the angry people waiting for their appointments scream at? Yep. Me.

Eight full hours of grown ass adults throwing fits because I need to take 10 seconds out of their day to create an appointment or walk them five feet to ring them out. Gosh! FIVE FUCKING FEET!

Eight full hours of "Hey, I have to go to the bathroom, can you cover me?" and getting ignored by the people in the back. Fuck Yeah this shit is fucking awesome.

Eight full hours of asking the boss to fill in when the guys go over on appointments and being told "I'm not allowed to help out." FUCK YEAH AWESOME!

Eight full hours of the boss asking me why can't I get all the administrative shit done anymore as the line of asshole customers at the service desk grows and grows...Gee. I don't fucking know. Do you need some fucking glasses?

Eight full hours of answering the phone and putting people on hold because five angry people just walked up to the service desk.

Am I overreacting? I hope so. I want today to be slow as fuck. This was Friday in a nutshell. No fucking thanks.

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The Screaming Eagle Vol. 1: Anovos

Sat, 07 Nov 2015 20:28:26 GMT

Because fuck you if you're just a regular Joe or Jane into Star Trek.

What is Anovos, you ask? They are a premiere cosplay/costume vendor that specializes in Star Trek uniforms (they've branched out into other Sci-Fi realms in recent years).

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Screaming Eagle?" is your next question. Go ahead. Ask it. I mean, who the fuck doesn't want a nice Star Trek uniform? I'm sure you've seen all of those cheaply made, overpriced Halloween varieties on Amazon and are craving for something you can wear more than once without it snagging on something invisible the second you sneeze.

I live in the Land of the Free and Home of the Ferengi. A "standard line" TOS redshirt starts at a whopping $200.00. Yep. For ONE redshirt. ONE. 200 smackers for a shirt. A shirt. Let that sink in.

200 bucks is nothing to a Trekkie of the upper-middle class variety, and fuck, if I had loads of cash, why the fuck not? But I'm not balling in cash and neither are a lot of awesome Trekkies I know and have befriended over the years.

Say you bought into their marketing tactics (I have to admire their talent at this. I mean they are at all the conventions and featured in all the trek blogs)--"These are real replicas with the correct dye combinations 'n shit!" or had the extra cash and just wanted an Anovos uniform. Say you dropped $550 on their Standard Line Voyager Uniform. Guess how long that shit is going to take to get to you? You could be waiting up to a year. Yes. A year. If I'm going to drop half a grand on an outfit, it better be in my hands within the next 30 days.

I'm a screaming eagle ripping them apart with my talons. Yes, yes. I know. I'm a fucking asshole. But fuck! You can get a decent costume from Chinese cosplay vendors on Ebay, Amazon, and Etsy for a fraction of the price. Sure, shipping takes a month, but you'd have a nice uniform at an affordable price.

Why am I even getting my feathers ruffled over uniforms I'll never waste my money on? It's the entire trend of costly goods and conventions that is sweeping (correction: has already bulldozed) affordable prices out of the game for average Trekkers like myself. Plus, some asshole pigeon got a twig stuck in my wing, and I can't get it out. The fucker got away before I could catch him.

Well, at least most of the action figures are still cheap.

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FYeah! Work

Sat, 07 Nov 2015 01:52:12 GMT

Welcome to the sarcasm and reality that is Eagle St.
I say it like it is.
My language is most foul.

I used to love my job. Really, I did. Then our headquarters decided to play a fun game of Fuck You! and decided to fling shit all over the happy introverts of my job title who were just fine working behind the scenes. "Oh, you can do your normal jobs AND be the face of the company by being downgraded, degraded, and pissed on by every single angry, toddler-minded customer! FYeah! Work!"

Think of an introvert's worst nightmare, and you have my "new" fucking job.

To add to the joys of standing in front of a counter all day with a fake ass smile on my face as Mr. FuckFace yells at me because we don't have room for him at this very second, I also have to get my "old" job done.

"Excuse me, Mr. Fuckface, I have to finish this report. Could you kindly get the fuck out of my face?"

The phone rings, and I tell the angry person on the other line to please hold. I mean, I've got to get Mr. Fuckface out of my face and deal with Mrs. Idiot behind him before I can hope the person on the other end hangs up. I mean, who the fuck wants to be put on hold? Not me.

Sorry, Mr. Phone Person. Headquarters is fucking awesome. That's why.

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