This guy wins the Bag of Dicks of the Week award; fuck, maybe he's earned it for the entire month.
Before I get into Mr. D, here's a little background info on where the scene took place:
I take the bus to work, and the park and ride is across the way from where all the school buses stop to pick up students (at that hour, it is a giant, empty parking lot). On a typical morning, you'll see parents dropping off their kids or sitting in their cars with their kids until the bus comes.
Enter the Bag of Dicks
I was waiting at the park and ride this morning, and all of a sudden, I see this light brown pick up truck come flying down the street between me and the school buses. It swerves next to a black SUV. At first, I think the drivers know each other, because, for a split second, the two vehicles were side by side...that is until Captain Douche floors it and cuts the SUV off, forcing it to stop because he slams his breaks without warning.
At this point, I'm wondering what in the hell is going on.
He gets out of his truck and storms towards the SUV. Everyone at the park and ride is watching. The man starts shouting at the top of his lungs. The driver of the SUV does not roll down his window or get out. There are children in the backseat. Bag of Dicks continues ranting and raving, thrusting his fists about. Finally, the driver of the SUV opens his door, and Bag of Dicks's rantings become clear.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE SPEED LIMIT IS?
35
35 FUCKING MILES PER HOUR!
The rest of his rage becomes unintelligible again. The driver of the SUV slams his door shut and does not budge. Bag of Dicks continues shouting for a few minutes and retreats to his truck, where he proceeds to peel away. The SUV backs up and sits at the children's parking lot, and I notice that no one leaves it, and I am certain that no one left it until the school bus came.
I find the fact that this Bag of Dicks floored the gas pedal, sped down a street of children and pedestrians, just to cut someone off to scream at them for speeding ironic. I guess calling the police and reporting someone for speeding is too much work these days. Gotta get that fresh morning road rage in. Gotta almost cause a wreck.
It reminds me of the time this old, fat bastard cut me and my coworker off back in '99 just to scream and yell at us for sprinting across the crosswalk instead of "walking." He swerved right at us with his giant car and nearly hit the grassy island just to earn his Bag of Dicks of the Week award. Oh, and he blocked traffic too. I remember cars swerving around him as his face became red with rage.
